Subcategory: To start with
Filling this checklist as a
You can fill the checklist from one role viewpoint, or a combination of multiple. In our experience in works best to focus from one role perspective when filling the list, as it helps you get into the right mindspace.
Dominant
A dominant in BDSM takes charge and guides the overall experience, whether in a brief scene or within a longer-term relationship. This role involves planning and initiating activities while maintaining strict adherence to consent and safety protocols. A dominant balances control with care, ensuring that the partner’s well-being and comfort are always a priority during any interaction. The position requires clear communication about expectations and boundaries, making sure that every action is mutually agreed upon and understood.
Submissive
A submissive voluntarily relinquishes control to the dominant, trusting their partner to guide the encounter while actively communicating personal boundaries, limits, and desires. This role is defined by the empowerment that comes from yielding control, which can lead to both physical satisfaction and emotional depth. The submissive's participation is crucial, as it involves not only following the lead but also providing feedback to ensure that the experience remains safe, consensual, and rewarding throughout the interaction.
Switch
A switch is comfortable alternating between dominant and submissive roles, adapting to the needs of a particular scene or relationship. This versatility allows a switch to either take charge or yield control, depending on mood, context, or shared agreements with partners. Operating from a balanced perspective, switches possess a unique understanding of the dynamics of control and surrender, which can facilitate richer and more nuanced interactions. The flexibility of a switch underscores the importance of clear communication and a deep respect for each partner's limits, ensuring that every experience is both safe and fulfilling.
Top
A top is the active partner who performs or executes specific BDSM activities. Unlike a dominant who focuses on control and power dynamics, a top is primarily concerned with the technical aspects of administering activities such as bondage, impact play, or other physical actions. Tops may or may not incorporate dominance into their role, as they can simply enjoy the giving aspect of activities without necessarily establishing control. This role requires skill, knowledge of safety protocols, and attentiveness to their partner's responses to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience.
Bottom
A bottom is the receiving partner in BDSM activities who experiences the physical sensations or actions being performed. Unlike submissives who surrender control, bottoms may simply enjoy receiving certain activities without a power exchange component. They can maintain equal footing with their partner while still being on the receiving end of bondage, impact play, or other activities. Bottoms actively communicate their experiences, limits, and needs throughout play, collaborating with tops to create a mutually satisfying experience that respects personal boundaries.
Good to know: Every activity has the option to answer your preferences for giving and receiving separately. This already gives you finegrained control over top/bottom responses throughout the list.
This is a description of an activity in the BDSM checklist (also known as a 'kink list'). Want to discover what (more) kinks you might have? Maybe share them with a partner? Start the checklist!
All activities in the checklist:
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General
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To start with
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Sex & Intimacy
- Kissing mouth (on lips)
- French kissing (with tongue)
- Kissing on body
- Massage
- Petting / Stroking Hair
- Dirty Talk
- Teasing
- Genital Stroking / Rubbing
- Fingering / Hand-jobs
- Oral Sex
- Licking (body)
- Vaginal Toys
- Vaginal Sex
- Anal Toys
- Rimming / Anal Licking
- Prostrate stimulation
- Anal Sex
- Deepthroating
- Squirting
- Breast Sex
- Tantric sex
- Phone sex
- Outdoor sex
- Sexual Body Fluids – on body
- Sexual Body Fluids – Consuming
- Double Penetration – Toys
- Double Penetration – Human
- Triple Penetration – Toys
- Fisting vaginal
- Fisting anal
- Spitting – on body
- Spitting - In mouth
- Threesome - M, M, F
- Threesome - F, F, M
- Threesome - All same gender
- Pegging
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Types
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Duration
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Types
- Blindfolds
- Earplugs / Ear-muffs
- Masks
- Belts / Leather Straps
- Chains
- Collars
- Posture Collars
- Stocks/pillory
- Spreader Bars
- Locks
- Hoods
- Gas Masks
- Body Bags / Sleepsacks
- Vacuum Beds
- Chastity Belts / Devices
- Harnesses
- Plastic (Saran) Wrap
- Bandage / Medical Wrap
- Casts
- Single Armbinder
- Bondage Opera Gloves
- Cockrings
- Slings
- Leashes
- Straight Jackets
- Cages / Cells
- Nose Leashes
- Nose Hooks
- Tape Bondage
- Sex Machines – Handheld
- Sex Machines – Stationary
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Types
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Areas
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- Nipple Clamps – Adjustable
- Nipple Clamps – Clover
- Nipple Weights
- Canes
- Paddles
- Slappers / Straps
- Crops
- Floggers
- Single Tail Whips
- Cat-O-Nine-Tails
- Dragon Tails
- Clubs
- Violet Wands
- E-Stim Kits
- Labia Clamps
- Genital Weights
- Ball Crushers
- Scrotum Parachutes / Stretchers
- Anal Beads / Balls
- Anal Hook
- Vaginal Hook
- Animal Tail Anal Plugs
- Speculums
- Urethral Sounds
- Bells
- Strap-On Harnesses
- Feathers / Ticklers
- Claws
- Needles
- Wax
- Knives
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- Master/Mistress/slave
- Bedroom Only Control
- Day to Day Control
- 24 Hours a Day/7 Days a Week
- Total Power Exchange
- Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)
- Orders
- Chastity
- Kneeling
- Marking
- Begging
- Crawling
- Erotic Dance (Private)
- Erotic Dance (Audience)
- Journal / Blogging Duty
- Body Pose / Position Protocol
- Behavior Restriction
- Eye Contact Restriction
- Sensory deprivation
- Speech Restriction / Protocol
- Harems (serving with others)
- Serving others
- Symbolic Jewellery
- Collar and Leash
- Collar (public)
- Collar (semi-private / events)
- Collar (private)
- Mono/Poly Arrangement
- Obedience
- Honorifics
- Protocols
- Protocols (High)
- Punishment Dynamic
- Reprimands
- Discipline
- Ritual
- Rules
- Training
- Discreet Public Play (less obvious to others)
- Forced Bi-Sexuality
- Being a sex slave
- Slave Positions
- Slave Auctions
- Loaned to Others for Service
- Loaned to Others for Sex
- Being prostituted
- Tattoo/Branding as Sign of Ownership
- Micromanaging
- Micromanaging (Clothing)
- Micromanaging (Food)
- Struggling / Resistance
- Escaping Bondage
- Playing together with other subs
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- Anal Plugs (Public, Under Clothes)
- Face Sitting
- Bathroom Use Control
- Chamber-pot use
- Serving as Toilet
- Genuflecting
- Cuckold Scenes
- Public Humiliation
- Bimbofication
- Blackmail
- Cum Eating
- Emasculation
- Forced Bedwetting
- Forced Nudity
- Forced Masturbation
- Forced Orgasms
- Forced Pants Wetting
- Forced Crossdressing
- Enemas
- Burping
- Poses (Exposure, Embarrassing, etc)
- Animal Play (pet, dog, horse, etc)
- Insults
- Sexual Inadequacy Humiliation
- Removal of Privacy
- Sexual (performance) Humiliation
- Slutty Clothing (Private)
- Slutty Clothing (Public)
- Slut Training
- Small Penis Humiliation
- Verbal Humiliation (Private)
- Verbal Humiliation (Public)
- Watching Bathroom Activities
- Standing in corner
- Sleeping Conditions Chosen
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Types
- Hair Pulling
- Spanking
- Gagging
- Face Slapping
- Biting
- Nipple Torture
- Breast torture w/pins-clips, etc.
- Breast whipping
- Pussy/cunt slapping / whipping
- Genital Torture
- Punching / Beating
- Bruising
- Scratching
- Pinching
- Breath Play
- Choking – Windpipe
- Choking – Arterial
- Smothering
- Water Torture
- Trampling
- Fire Play
- Bastinado (feet torture)
- Abrasion
- Piercing
- Knife Play (non-cutting)
- Cutting
- Electric Play
- Ice / Cold Play
- Hot Wax Play
- Tickling
- Wrestling
- Dilation – Vaginal
- Dilation – Anal
- Verbal Abuse
- Branding
- Tattooing
- Enemas
- Gagging (fingers or similar means)
- Gagging During Oral
- Cupping / Suction
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Types
- Boss / Secretary - (Employee)
- Teacher / Student
- Damsel In Distress
- Kidnapping
- Doctor - Nurse / Patient
- Parent / Child (Ex: Daddy / Daughter)
- Interrogation
- Age Regression
- Adult Baby
- Prison Scenes
- Serving as Maid
- Prostitution / Given Away
- Initiation / Ritual
- Punishment Scenes
- Religious Scenes
- Vampire Scenes
- Rape Scenes
- Puppy Play
- Cat Play
- Pony Play
- Furries
- Cosplay
- Living Doll
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Types
- Leather
- Latex / Rubber
- PVC
- Lingerie
- Feet
- Shoes
- Heels
- Boots
- Gloves
- Smoking
- Oral Fixation
- Uniforms
- Voyeurism
- Watching videos of others
- Corsets
- Medical
- Cross Dressing
- Forced Feminization
- Strap-On Play
- Lolita
- Mature
- Fur
- Lactation
- Food Play
- Menstruation
- Being Recorded
- Exhibitionism
- Fear / Threatening Play
- Crying / Being Brought to Tears
- Abandonment
- Acrotomophilia (amputees)
- Barosmia (smells)
- Shaving
- Shibari
- Erotic Dancing
- Body Modification
- BodyBuilding
- Bukake
- Bestiality
- Examinations (physical)
- Examinations (with instruments)
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Types
- Age Play (Sexual)
- Animal Role Play (Sexual)
- Asphyxiation
- Ball Busting
- Bare-backing
- Blackmail Fantasy
- Blood Play
- Branding
- Breath Control
- Breeding Fantasy
- Castration Fantasy
- Catheters
- CBT (Cock & Ball Torture)
- Choking
- Conditioning (Manipulation)
- Corporal "Punishment"
- Cunt Busting
- Enemas (Cleansing)
- Enemas (Pleasure)
- Enemas (Punishment)
- Enemas (Retention)
- Fear Play
- Fire Play
- Flesh Hook Suspension
- Full Body Beatings
- Gang Bang
- Gas Masks (Air Restriction)
- Genitorture
- Gun Play
- Golden Showers
- Hypnosis
- Inflation/Injections (Saline)
- Interrogations
- Knife Play
- Mind Fucks
- Needle Play
- Ravishment Play (Rape Play)
- Ravishment Play (Group)
- Pursuit & Capture (Public)
- Pursuit & Capture (Kink Camping or Similar)
- Play Piercing
- Pussy Torture
- Resistance Play
- Rough Body Play (Closed Fists)
- Rough Body Play (Kicking)
- Scat
- Sleep Deprivation
- Stress Positions
- Take Down Play
- Tasers/Stun Guns
- Urethral Sounding
- Urine Consumption
- Waterboarding
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Recordings
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About you
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Relevant play info
- Sexual orientation
- Do you use anti-conception? If so which?
- What are your 'safer sex' barrier preferences? (condoms, gloves, etc)
- Do you have any STD's or other infectious/transferable diseases at the moment?
- Date & type of last STD test
- Any relevant medical conditions?
- Any physical or mental limitations?
- Phobias or fears:
- Diet preferences
- Favorite during session / aftercare snacks :)
- Safe Word (verbal)
- Safe Sign (non-verbal)
- Penetration ok
- No hit zone(s), if any
- Marks and bruises ok?
- No marks zone(s), if any
- BDSM-test.org result-link
- FetLife profile link
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Your body
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Words & Phrases
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Context
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