Category: D/s, Power Play
Subcategory: Power exchange / Protocol

Collar (private)

Collar (private) refers to a collar worn exclusively in intimate settings between the dominant and submissive, typically during scenes, private time together, or within the home. These collars may be more elaborate, restrictive, or explicitly BDSM-focused than those worn in any public setting.

The private nature of these collars creates an intimate symbolic experience. For submissives, putting on the collar often serves as a ritual transition into their submissive role, creating a psychological shift that helps them enter the appropriate mindset. The collar becomes a powerful physical reminder of the relationship dynamic within protected space. Dominants typically value the ceremonial aspect of collaring, the visual representation of ownership, and the special significance that develops when an item is exclusively associated with their private power exchange. These collars often hold deep emotional meaning as symbols of the relationship's most intimate aspects.

← Previous: Collar (semi-private / events)
Next: Mono/Poly Arrangement →

This is a description of an activity in the BDSM checklist (also known as a 'kink list'). Want to discover what (more) kinks you might have? Maybe share them with a partner? Start the checklist!

About the category D/s, Power Play

Dominance and submission (D/s) and power play revolve around the consensual exchange of control between partners. This dynamic can manifest in countless ways—from bedroom-only scenarios to comprehensive lifestyle arrangements—all centered on one partner taking a controlling role while the other yields authority within negotiated boundaries.

People are drawn to power exchange for diverse reasons: the freedom found in surrender, the thrill of exercising control, the deep trust required, and the opportunity to explore aspects of themselves not expressed in everyday life. Unlike physical BDSM activities which focus on bodily sensations, D/s emphasizes psychological connection and the erotic potential of power differentials, creating experiences that many find deeply fulfilling on both emotional and sexual levels.

About the subcategory Power exchange / Protocol

Power exchange protocols establish formalized patterns of behavior between partners that reinforce and express their D/s dynamic. These may include specific language requirements, postures, rituals, or rules that symbolize and maintain the consensual power differential between participants.

People engage in protocols for the structure and clarity they bring to power exchange relationships. These practices create consistent reminders of roles, deepen the psychological aspects of submission and dominance, and provide a framework for expressing devotion and control. For many practitioners, the mindfulness required to maintain protocols creates a meditative focus that enhances connection and satisfaction beyond what more casual power dynamics might offer.



All activities in the checklist: